A Lyoko Shame
by Horrorxxxgirl
Summary: An uptight, middle-aged, repressed Aelita turns into a "XANA turned sex addict after getting possessed by XANA. Based on the very funny John Waters movie: A Dirty Shame. Yes they are ALL of legal ages. AxJ and light YxU
1. Chapter 1

"Come on back to bed, Aelita," purred Jeremie as he wrapped his bare arms around his pink haired wife. It had been quite a few years since they graduated, hell, even college. Aelita and Jeremie were now married and had sort of adopted a fellow student and saw her as daughter who was almost twenty two. Yumi and Ulrich became married, no kids. Odd, Sissy and William had all lost touch with the two couples.

Aelita was in the kitchen and she could practically smell the fact her husband wanted to do the dirty dance between the sheets, she cocked an eyebrow and growled. "Can't you see I'm cooking?" she barked.

"It can wait," purred Jeremie, kissing her ear. "Sex is in the air."

What had gotten into him? Ever since his monitor had fallen and hit his head, he had been more sexually active. Aelita blushed. It was far too early to be mad at her husband and far to early to...do that. "Not in here it isn't," said Aelita. "I got work, Jeremie."

"Yumi is up at the store," said Jeremie, taking in Aelita's perfumed neck. Aelita shook him away and he sighed, heading back upstairs. She did feel bad, but this was not the time. Suddenly, she remembered, her keys. She had misplaced them this morning...but where?

She headed upstairs and went into the bedroom. "You seen my keys?" she asked to the closed bathroom door. She got no answer. "I said, have you seen my keys?"

"Where did you leave them?" asked Jeremie from behind the closed door.

"If I knew where I'd left them, they wouldn't be lost, would they?" sneered Aelita. How dare Jeremie think he could be a smartass! She bit her lip. "Jeremiehole!" Aelita could never bring herself to cuss, specially at her husband. So, Jeremiehole was the closest thing to her calling her husband an asshole.

She heard a loud moan come from the bathroom and she raised a pink eyebrow. She opened the door to see Jeremie, on the toilet, his pants around his ankles, one hand around his cock and the other hand held a playboy type magazine. Aelita gasped. "Oh, XANA almighty!"

"It's not my fault, Aelita! Somebody left his magazine on the front porch and it got me all riled up!" gasped Jeremie.

There were Aelita's keys, right there by the sink. "Oh, sure, _"somebody left it."_," said Aelita grabbing her keys. "Sure, sure..."

"You said you didn't want to," cried Jeremie as Aelita slammed the bathroom door. "I mean a man has needs, Aelita. Marital needs!"

Aelita stormed out of the house and up to Samantha's room. Samantha had moved into their house and Aelita treated her as a daughter. This morning, she was practicing her pole dancing for when she came off house arrest. What happened to the innocent days of Kadic? "Isn't it a little early for that, Samantha?"

"I'm developing my act, Aelita," said Samantha in a very matter of fact tone.

Aelita narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Mutilating your mammaries and gyrating down at some biker bar is an act, all right, an act of defiance!"

"I was a legend down at the Maison de vacances, in case you didn't know it," snapped Samantha. Jeremie poked his head in and Samantha pranced over to him. She placed her hands on his chest. "Daddy, let me go down to the bar and perform."

"You're in home detention," said Jeremie. Samantha began to pout. "The "government" wants you to stay indoors for a while, ya hear? You're just too pretty to go out."

"We let you keep your tawdry theatrical mementoes. Isn't that enough?" asked Aelita, motioning to all the posters of Samantha naked on the walls. "You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time."

"I was promoting the art of dance!" cried Samantha.

"With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?" asked Aelita.

"I was not drunk. I was on pills," sneered Samantha. "Odd was drunk!"

"Something is the matter with you, Samantha," growled Aelita.

"You are such a Xanuter, Aelita!" cried Samantha. "And Xanuters will never understand!"

Aelita was confused. What exactly was a Xanuter? Sounded like XANA. She shook her head. He had been defeated forever ago. Something is the matter with your vagina!" snarled Aelita before storming out of Samantha's room.

Jeremie just stood there dumbfounded as Aelita was met up with Tamia Titties. "Mrs. Belpois, my name is Tamia Titties."

"No, your name is Tamia," said Aelita. "I went to Kadic with you!"

Tamia narrowed her eyes at Aelita. "I'm Samantha's number one fan!"

"She moved to Italy!" snarled Aelita heading towards the car to go to work.

Jeremie came outside and saw Tamia. "Samantha retired from show business," said Jeremie. "She's no longer a public figure."

"Her name ain't Samantha, it's "Samantha Smoothies." And she's famous," gushed Tamia. "She got the biggest tits in France!"

Jeremie noticed Aelita backing out of the driveway. "Aelita! Aelita, we need gas, honey! Get gas," said Jeremie running towards the car. He watched as his wife drove off. "Honey, still mad? Remember to fill it up. I'll walk, don't worry."


	2. Odd Odd

Jeremie walked down the street. He passed right by Emily's house, where Emily was on the front porch. She was butt naked, bending over to pick up the paper, making Jeremie stop. He wasn't stopping to sample her goodies but just to wonder what she was doing. Emily felt him there and stood up and waved at him. "Hi, Jeremie," she purred.

"Morning...Emily..." said Jeremie, his mouth hanging open.

Emily held the paper in her hand and began to stroke it slowly. Jeremie blushed. Oh why couldn't Aelita done that this morning? "Does the Lyoko Park-and-Pay sell lotions?" purred Emily once again. "You know...ointments?"

"We sure do," smiled Jeremie. He had to get his mind back onto work.

Jean-Pierre strolled out of Emily's door. He sported only a towel. Jeremie didn't know which was worse, seeing his principal half naked or the fact he was half naked in Emily's house. "How is that fine wife of yours doing, Jeremie?" he asked.

"She's up at the store like always, sir," gulped Jeremie.

"Don't you find it funny that Ulrich has a penis?" giggled Emily. Jeremie shook his head, panicked. What was she saying! "Hey! You have a penis, too! So does Jean-Pierre! Every man in this neighborhood has a penis!"

Jeremie bolted from Emily's lawn. A few miles away, Aelita's car had ran out of gas, holding up a line of traffic. A tow-truck, sat a few cars behind her and inside was Odd, who took to playing with himself since there was an obvious hold up. "That's it, oh-oh-oh!" he moaned. "Oh, God! Ooh, that's it!"

Odd looked at his hand. A sticky mess. He wiped his hand on the seat next to him. "I'm out of gas!" cried Aelita getting out of her car. Someone shouted at her to move. "How am I supposed to move with no gas?"

"Get out of the way!" shouted a man. "We're in a hurry!"

Jeremie slowed down to a walk near Ulrich and Yumi's house. Ulrich was trimming the hedges outside. They had grown in the shape of a penis. "Filthy little hedges," he mumbled.

"Morning, Ulrich," smiled Jeremie.

"Growin' all dirty, makes me sick!" cried Ulrich clipping off a penis tip.

A few houses down, Jeremie met the new neighbors Herb, Nikolas and Jim. That's right, they weren't living with Sissi. "Hi, I'm Mama Bear Herb," smiled Herb, catching Jeremie for surprise. "Have you met my hus-bear?"

"No, I haven't," said Jeremie, scared of what his answer would bring.

"I'm Papa Bear Nikolas," smiled Nikolas hugging Herb. "And this is our cub, Baby Bear Jim."

Jim looked right at Jeremie and growled at him. "I'm Jeremie. Welcome to the neighborhood," said Jeremie.

"When we take over, it's gonna be a...Bearquake!" the three of the cackled as Jeremie ran down the street.

"Come back, blondie and let me give you a big ol' bear hug!" cackled Nikolas.

Aelita still hadn't moved and the jam was getting even bigger behind her. "Move that piece of shit!" screamed a man.

She was almost in tears. "Can you call Triple-A, please?" she cried.

"Hurry up, I've got a hot date!"

"What, at 7:00 a.m.?" asked Aelita. "What's the matter with you?"

"You'd have a date too if you wore some make-up!" screamed the man with the hot date. "Your poor husband."

Aelita had half a mind to go to the guy and knock him upside the head. A work truck snaked by Aelita's car and she whacked her head against a shovel's pole which stuck out from the back of the truck. She fell to the ground.

"It's her!" smiled Odd as he watched Aelita fall to the ground. "Let's go sexing!" He helped Aelita up. "Hello, ma'am," he said. "My name is Odd Odd and I'm here to...service you."

"I'm Aelita and I hit my head. Oh," said Aelita, rubbing her head as Odd laid her in the car.

"A concussion is a terrible thing to waste," smirked Odd, as he lifted her skirt. She shot him a panicked look. "It's okay."

Odd went to work, working his tongue into areas where only Jeremie had been, leaving Aelita to squirm and moan and pull at Odd's blond hair. Odd came back up and licked his lips as Aelita shook her pink hair. "My pussy's on fire!" moaned Aelita.

"I know it is. It's a burning bush," whispered Odd, kissing her ear. "We knew you'd come. All I can do is pass the gift."

Aelita pushed him away. "Huh?"

"You're a sex addict now and you'll never be the same," smirked Odd as he pressed his fingers on Aelita's sweet spot, making her moan. "You recognized the concussion and there's no going back now. I'm gonna give you my card. Sex addicts are everywhere, Aelita, and pretty soon, France will be ours. Come visit us, Aelita. Your people are waiting."

"My people?"

"One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before," said Odd. "And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture."


	3. Funch

"Used to be France was for families," sighed Yumi who stood behind the register, talking with Ulrich who had come in after clipping the penis hedges. "Now it's a lesbian aorta."

"Yumi, I don't feel well," groaned Aelita rubbing her head as she went to her work station.

"Well, no wonder, we've got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store! They eat life, you know," said Yumi. "Sperm!"

William walked into the store and picked up a few snack foods and went to Yumi to ring them up. "Did you see those new neighbors moving in?" asked Yumi. "Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half naked... "We're bears." what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Free country, Yumi," said William.

"Yeah well, we got laws to protect decency," said Yumi. "And it would be nice if somebody enforced them."

"Well, as my mother used to say..."'Each to their own,' said the old lady as she kissed the cow"!" laughed William slapping the counter. Yumi shoved his items into his arms. He huffed and left.

"Perverts are taking over this neighborhood," sighed Yumi.

"I found a used condom in our back yard," said Ulrich.

"You think that's bad? Somebody wrote the word "boner" on our parking lot wall last night," said Yumi. "We've got to do something, Ulrich. People have got to know how bad things are getting. No wonder I've got to take heart pills!"

"I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple...like us...has sex over 3,000 times a year!" cried Ulrich. "People would be raw if that was true!"

"You have, uh, AAA batteries?" asked Rosa to Aelita as Ulrich and Yumi chattered away.

Aelita nodded and got out the AAA batteries but she had also heard: Do you like to have sex? "I certainly do," purred Aelita as she touched her breasts.

"You sure these are the right ones?" asked Rosa. They looked like AA's.

Aelita heard: You sure I can't see your tits? Funny, she never pegged Rosa for swinging that way, but what the hell? "You want me to take them out?" she purred, unbuttoning her shirt.

"No, no, I guess I'll buy them," said Rosa cocking an eyebrow.

What Aelita heard was: I'd love to munch your carpet. "Well, get down there, Rosa, and start scarfing!"

Rosa scurried away. "What the hell? For Christ's sake! I'm moving to England!"

She was stopped by Yumi. "France...where life is cheap," she said, handing Rosa a flyer she had come up with a few moments ago to wake people up about all the perverts. "Only you can prevent fornication."

"Someone left a dildo in our neighbor's wishing well, right on her front lawn!" cried Ulrich when Rosa left the store. "People are just ignorant everywhere."

"Morning, Yumi," said Jeremie coming in for his shift.

"What's good about a morning with dildos in it!?" cried Yumi pulling her black hair.

"Amen to that!" cried Ulrich.

"Feeling better, huh?" asked Jeremie as Aelita started to kiss his neck.

"You wanna have funch?" asked Aelita as she groped Jeremie's hang down, making his body stiffen and making him blush.

"What's "funch," honey?" asked Jeremie. He usually knew what Aelita was talking about, not right now though...

"Fucking after lunch," winked Aelita.

"Funch, huh?" asked Jeremie cocking an eyebrow. He grabbed Aelita's hand and dragged her out of the store. "Come on. This must be my lucky day!"

"Where do you two think you're going?" asked Yumi as Jeremie and Aelita headed out the door. "It's not safe out!"

"People are shaving their crotches as we speak!" cried Ulrich, throwing his arms in the air. "There's pubic hair in the air everywhere!"

"We're having a decency rally, and I think you two need to be there," said Yumi as Aelita pulled Jeremie out the door.

"Feeling frisky, eh?" asked Jeremie as they pulled up to their mailbox.

Aelita got the mail and with a bite of her lip, she nodded. "Let's open one of Samantha's fan letters!" giggled the pink haired woman.

"That's her personal mail," said Jeremie. What was with Aelita today?

She didn't take her husband's warning and pulled out a note card and a few photos. "Oh, look it's from the mailman. He sent Samantha a photo of his penis. Ooh!"

"He what!?" gasped Jeremie grabbing the photos. "Are you kidding me? This is disgusting."

"Well, he's got a big one," giggled Aelita.

"What kind of talk is that?" gasped Jeremie at Aelita.

"Oh, they're all photos of the mailman's unit!" purred Mrs. Belpois looking at the other photos.

"I'm calling the cops," said her husband, gagging.

"Yes, sir, a real arse-opener!" saluted Aelita as if giving Jeremie the ok to call the cops.

"Stop it, Aelita!" cried Jeremie.

"Pink steel!" cackled the pink haired woman.

"What's the matter with you?" asked the nerd, pulling the photos away from his wife.

"Hey, Jeremie, feel like "yodeling in the canyon"?" winked Aelita snuggling up to him.

He blushed and looked down. "We have to visit Franz, remember?" the nerd mumbled, tempted by the offer.

She tugged on his sleeve. "Oh, come on, you wanted to earlier!" the pink haired woman begged, giving him the big, puppy dog eyes.

Mr. Belpois laughed and blushed. "Well, not that, I didn't."

"Come on, Jeremie, discover the oyster," urged Aelita pushing Jeremie's head down to her crotch.

"Honey, this is Pinewood Avenue. We live here!" cried Jeremie. "Can't we wait till we get back to the house?"

"Oh, go "way down South in Dixie," said Aelita as Jeremie gave in.

He came back up. "Just keep a look out," he warned.

Aelita rolled her head back and groaned as Jeremie went to work. "Now that's what I call "sneezing in the cabbage"!" moaned the pink haired girl.


	4. Hokey Pokey

"Let's all band together! Horndogs are everywhere!" shouted Yumi at her and Ulrich's rally at the Lyoko Park and Pay. "Pretty soon they'll be living next door. Decency, that's all I'm asking for. Decency!"

"Decency's fine. But diversity in a neighborhood is a good thing too," smiled Sogar.

"This isn't diversity, it's depravity!" cried Mr. Stern. Sogar rolled her eyes. "On my way over here, I saw a man performing oral sex on a lady in a car in broad daylight. Lesbians have taken over the softball fields!"

"So? Lesbians are good neighbors. We need to start by teaching tolerance in our own homes!" said Sogar as if she were a lesbian.

"Some guy was playing with himself near me in the movies!" said Yumi's little brother. "You're saying that's normal? His crotch was shaved!"

"These are isolated incidents!"

"No, they're not. Look, I'm not a prude. I'm married to an Italian. But I am disgusted," said Mrs. Robbia. "I live near what they call "The Bear House." Last night, hairy, overweight men who call themselves bears were having sex outside the house. My children heard them. "Mommy, what's that noise?" They actually asked me. I raced outside clapping my hands loudly and I yelled..."No blow jobs!" And they just laughed. Some of them even growled at me."

"Oh, no!" sighed Yumi.

"Today, somebody called me a Xanuter. And you know what? I didn't mind," said Ulrich. "If Xanuter means "normal," I'll say it loud...I am Ulrich, the Xanuter, and I'm proud."

"That's right!" cheered Yumi. "We're all Xanuters! And we'll never, never be not normal!"

Jeremie and Aelita entered the old folk's home, welcomed with the tune of the Hokey Pokey. _You put your right arm in and then you shake it all about..._Aelita felt her vagina begin to tingle as Jeremie dragged her over to Franz. _You put your left arm in, you put your left arm out. You put your left arm in and then you shake it all about. You do the Hokey-Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about..._

Aelita took to dancing the Hokey Pokey in a very dirty way. When they asked to put your whole self in, she danced in the middle of the old people circle. They all watched as a doctor threw her a water bottle and then watched in horror as she stuck the bottle top inside of her. The old people ran from the room, taking Jeremie with them. "Aelita!"

Aelita strolled out of the old folks home, leaving her panties with one of the doctors. "Taxi! Taxi!" she called out, waving a cab down. She got into the taxi. "Odd Odd's service center."

"Yes, ma'am," said the driver, who pulled away from the curb. He watched Aelita in the rearview mirror. She was taking off her clothes. "Hey, lady, you can't change your clothes in here!"

"Why not?" purred Aelita kissing the driver's ear.

"'Cause I said so!" he cried.

"Want some fun?" giggled Aelita. "I've been a very naughty girl. I left my panties and I think my pink, wet, pussy needs to be beaten!"

"What are you doing!?" he screamed.


	5. Baby William

"Can I get up front?" asked Aelita draping her arms over the front seats. Aelita kissed the cab driver's ear.

"No, you can't!" he snapped, swatting her away.

"You can leave the meter running," purred the pink haired woman, nibbling his ear lobe.

"Stay in the back!" he warned.

"Oh, come on, I want some action!" cried Mrs. Belpois. She had the itch and wanted someone, anyone, to scratch it. Jeremie, him, Odd Odd, hell, Samantha could!

He pulled over to a man standing there. "Get out!" he yelled at Aelita.

"This cab free?" asked the man.

The woman grabbed the guy by his shirt and pulled him into the back seat. "Sure is, tiger!" she said with a wink. He kicked the woman out and the cab driver took off.

"That's right, spread the word!" cried Yumi to Ulrich as she placed yellow flyers on porches of houses.

"You bet, my little sushi roll!" said Ulrich, placing pink flyers on car windows.

"And don't stop till you get to the end of the block!" ordered Yumi. The cab driver and his wife ran into Yumi. "We're having a decency rally..."

His wife cut off Yumi. "You better start in your own backyard then!" she barked. "I heard your employee, Aelita picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!"

"She what?" gasped Yumi. She shook her head. "That's not true. Aelita is a good girl. She hates sex." The couple walked on. "Ask Jeremie!"

"What is she talking about, that bitch?" grumbled Ulrich.

Aelita found herself at Odd Odd's station. She stepped inside. "Hello? Odd Odd?" she called out. "It's me, Aelita. And I need full service."

Odd Odd stepped from the shadows. "I knew you'd find us, Aelita," said Odd Odd. "Don't be afraid. We've all had accidental concussions just like you."

"All?" asked Aelita. "You have?"

"Mine was from a freak meatball accident," said Odd Odd. Giving Aelita that don't ask look. "And now I guide other head-injury sufferers to the final dawn of sexual awakening. You've been sent to help us."

"I have?" asked Aelita.

"We're all sex addicts and we have been waiting for you," said Odd Odd.

"But why?"

"Because you can lead us to an erotic orgasm we've never experienced."

"I can't," said the pink haired woman. "I promise you I can't."

"Until you've hit your head, you can never really feel the power you get from sex," explained Odd Odd. He led Mrs. Belpois to another room. "Brace yourself, Mrs. Belpois."

He opened the door and Aelita saw Officer William in a diaper, on a rocking horse, sucking on a pacifier. "Officer Dunbar!" gasped Aelita.

"I'm an adult baby, Aelita," said William. "You want to be my mommy?"

"Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants. And sometimes they like to be burped," explained Odd Odd.

"I'm a big boy and I'm beyond the law," cooed William. "Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy..."

"As you grow to embrace your concussion, you'll learn to accept anything sexual as long as it's safe, consensual and doesn't harm others," explained Odd Odd.

"You wanna powder my chafed butt?" gurgled William.

"Uh, I would, but I'm supposed to help Odd Odd think up a new sex act," said Aelita. "Maybe later."


End file.
